grandma shit on top of the toilet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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