bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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