making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
