Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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