Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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