so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
