More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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