OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
