She kept screaming "best case scenario"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
