okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
