Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
