It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
