Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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