his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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