I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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