He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize