I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
