you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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