its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i will never coherently bang her
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
