Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
