Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
