I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
only if we run a train.
done.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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