i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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