Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
