Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
