Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just want to make out with him forever
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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