if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
