Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
