therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
