just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
