on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
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As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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