I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
