1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
