threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
