Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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