only you would photoshop your dick
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
