Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
