I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
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They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
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BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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