I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
high people should be assigned attendants
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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