But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
