I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
