thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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