I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't deserve a penis
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
