I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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