no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
