There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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