Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
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You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
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Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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