i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize