is wine microwaveable?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
