either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
