i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
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Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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