I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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