I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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