I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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