And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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