Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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